Milestones are Important

Friday

October 21, 2011

I can’t help but remember a week ago today. I was in the hospital on bedrest, just enjoying it as best I could. Now I’m a mother. You’re HERE! Not to mention I started writing you a week ago today. Milestones are important in life. They help us to remember memories both good and bad. Some day you will understand that.

I had a great day with you my beautiful baby boy. I was able to pump a lot of milk for you. Just being near you helps me make more milk. It has to do with our bond. I’m just happy that I can make something healthy and nutritious for you so early in your life. You had to be treated for a skin rash today. It wasn’t too serious. But the nurses did have to put some powder on you to help with it. Also you came from under the light to help with your skin. Hopefully you won’t have to do that again. You have a blue tint to you. Don’t worry, I will show you the pictures one day. You ever opened your eyes slightly today. I can’t wait till you are doing that more and more. However you’re too young to really see your Mother. Your eyes need to mature more. Right now they are extremely sensitive to light. You still had a few Brady’s while I was there today. They scare me so much. But I’m praying about that. God can do what no nurse or doctor can do!

I was really excited when the nurse allowed me to change your diaper. I have to admit; I’m not thrilled about that in the future. But right now you aren’t producing such smelly, nasty diapers. It was another first for you and I. Baby William; I truly cherish each first moment with you. I look forward to more. I was so scared doing it though. You are so tiny! I didn’t want to hurt you. Plus you kept trying to move your legs so I couldn’t change your diaper. Somehow in all your moving you had loosened your other diaper, which I couldn’t believe. You are such a mover! Then again, you were really active in my stomach. You moved around so much, especially when I would lie down at night. It didn’t bother me though because it helped me know that you were healthy.

Whenever I think of being away from you, I cry. It hurts. I miss you so much! Mommy tries to be strong, but sometimes I’m not. And when I think of being away from you, I’m my weakest and I cry. Even though I have seen you everyday since you were born its so hard being back home. Baby William I hope you never, ever doubt the love I have for you. The only other guy to make me cry so much is your father. Its because I love you both! Sometimes, Baby William the people we love the most will make us cry. I’m sure one day you’ll realize that just as I have.

Baby William, one thing is for sure, you’re changing your mother everyday! That isn’t a bad thing either. Supposedly the hardest part isn’t here yet. But one thing is for sure; with love in my heart I’ll always do whatever I have too for you.

#OliviaSanders #NICU #blackbabies #blackmothers #FortWorth #reluctantmotherhood #motherhood #preemiebaby #BaylorAllSaints #givingbirth #AfricanAmerican